From the bottom of my bosoms..

:: 20/11/06 ::

Under normal circumstances, today would call for tinkling of champagne glasses (or bottles, if you’ll please) but multiple events further marred the beginning of my seemingly bleak holiday. Bah. Self-pitying must have gotten into me. Must be the company I mix with, KI er.. KIKI, it’s all your fault. But I digress. Now that I’m approaching my early twenties, ‘akil baligh’ (if thats even possible) seems to have decrease exponentially. Not good.

Whats up with a 19-going-on-20-year old young lady and puberty? You can lower those raised eyebrows now. Rewinding back to my primary school days, the only cup I’m obsessed with, not World Cup, not Thomas Cup, but my cup. =D Pinning the blame of my obsession on society (or several gits in it) would be purely irresponsible, since I dislike pointing (middle) fingers at others. I’ve been called ‘airport’, threw it right at my face, that one. Whats ‘airport’ I hear you query? It was a literal graphical representation of one’s chest. The airport landing strip is officially flat, innit? It takes little to ruin my day then, and I’m often found pondering and wishing for bigger, better, nastier char siew paoz. However, you don’t often encounter gargantuan char siew paoz amongst primary school girls. Ahh. Solace..

Fast forward to high school. Gone were the days when I would look, no, stare with pure unadulterated envy at well-endowed counterparts of mine. And I’d say, P.E time was a perfect time where you could observe and discover a multitude of sizes and how these char siew paoz (or big paoz) bounce vigorously in correlation with size. And boy, do size matter. A glance around will reveal testosterone-fueled boys with grinning and knowing looks, nudging each other with elbows gleefully. I know what you did last summer… But it’s perfectly normal for them to gape, of course. Can’t say the same for me though, one of my favourite past-times. Perv? Naw. Did you gawk at them too? Sure you did. =p At that time, I was afraid to catch a glimpse of myself nude in the mirror, and whenever I did, I looked away because I wasn’t proud of what I saw. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Chagrined. You name it. I guess the crux of this issue was attributable to me comparing between what I have and what I wished so painfully to have.

Reverting back to the present, I still do, occasionally get the ‘flat chested’ remark but it doesn’t bother me as much as before. (Sum degil devils would gleefully provoke me using this later, I’m sure) I even had a friend who fully utilized a handwrite feature to beautifully illustrate my flat chestedness. =p Yes, I admit I still fantasize my mini paoz would one day be filled out, complimented with a bigger rump and I would toy with the tantalizing idea of creams and surgeries but these remain wistful thinking of mine. After all, someone dear once said: "If a someone loves you for your boobs, you’re not being loved." Ain’t it a nice way to soothe my bruised ego? =p

迷迭香 * Rosemary

迷迭香 | Mi Die Xiang | Rosemary

曲：周杰倫
Qu : Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

詞：方文山
Ci: Fang Wen Shan
Lyrics: Vincent Fang

Translation: Ling - www.jay-chou.net

妳的嘴角　微微上翹　性感得無可救藥
Ni de zui jiao　wei wei shang qiao　xing gan de wu ke jiu yao
You curve the corner of your lips, (an act which I find) believably sexy

想像不到　如此心跳　妳的一切都想要
Xiang bu dao　ru ci xin tiao　ni de yi qie dou xiang yao
Can’t imagine the rhythm of my heartbeat, as I want every bit of you.

＊軟性的飲料　上升的氣泡
ruan xin de yin liao　shang sheng de qi pao
　Soft drinks, rising bubbles

　我將對妳的喜好　一瓶裝　全喝掉
　Wo jiang dui ni de xi hao　yi ping zhuang　quan he diao
　I will can my love for you, and drink it up.

　這裡最不缺就是熱鬧
　Zhe li zui bu que jiu shi re nao
　The element his place does not lack is the bustle.

　妳煽情　給擁抱
　Ni shan qing　gei yong bao
　You seductively embraced me.

　燭火在燃燒　有某種情調
　Zhu huo zai ran shao　you mou zhong qing diao
　The burning candlelight gives this place a sort of (romantic) ambience

　眼神失焦了幾秒　關於妳　的舞蹈
　Yan shen shi jiao le ji miao　guan yu ni　de wu dao
　(My) eyes lost its focus for a few seconds. Concerning your　dance,

　妳慵懶的扭動著腰　受不了
　Ni yong lan de niu dong zhe yao　shou bu liao
　the way you nonchalently sway your hips is something I can’t bear to see

　妳隨風飄揚的笑　有迷迭香的味道
　Ni sui feng piao yang de xiao　you mi die xiang de wei dao
　The wind carries your smile,　its taste tainted with rosemary

　語帶薄荷味的撒嬌　對我發出戀愛的訊號
　Yu dai bo he wei de sa jiao　dui wo fa chu lian ai de xun hao
　Your coquettish words with a hint of minty flavour, is sending out messages of love to me

　妳幽雅的像一隻貓　動作輕盈的圍繞
　Ni you ya de xiang yi zhi mao　dong zuo qing ying de wei rao
　Your elegance like a feline, surrounding me with your light prancing moves.

　愛的甜味蔓延發酵　曖昧來得剛好＊
　Ai de tian wei man yan fa xiao　ai mei lai de gang hao＊
　The sweetness of love spreads and brews(#),　infatuation arrives just in time＊

REPEAT＊

妳的嘴角　微微上翹　性感得無可救藥
Ni de zui jiao　wei wei shang qiao　xing gan de wu ke jiu yao
You curve the corner of your lips, (an act which I find) believably sexy

想像不到　如此心跳　妳的一切都想要
Xiang bu dao　ru ci xin tiao　ni de yi qie dou xiang yao
Can’t imagine the rhythm of my heartbeat, as I want every bit of you.

妳的唇膏　鮮豔討好　一股自信的驕傲
Ni de chun gao　xian yan tao hao　yi gu zi xin de jiao ao
Your lipstick　brightly colored & pleasing　a radiating confidence and pride

什麼預兆　氣氛微妙　因為愛妳我知道
She me yu zhao　qi fen wei miao　yin wei ai ni wo zhi dao
Is this a sign? (In) this delectable atmosphere,　I know because of my love for you

預兆　氣氛微妙　因為愛妳我知道
Yu zhao　qi fen wei miao　yin wei ai ni wo zhi dao
A sign? (In) this delectable atmosphere,　I know because of my love for you

** Courtesy of Jay-chou.net **

Bridal Chorus

I have been playing the piano a lot recently, it takes my mind off things. Perusing my old, old photocopied and original scores brought memories, as well as a bout of elephantine sneeze due to the dust accumulated over the months. Bridal chorus was a song I was always fond of, (in case you aren’t familiar, remember the ‘here comes the bride, all dressed in white’ song? That’s the one.) It struck me, romantic song that one. Something else struck me too. That song will cease to continue from a point onwards. Looking back, it has been a broken melody since 20 years ago, played haphazardly. The notes don’t even sound harmonious, the beginning of the piece was fast, might be a little hurried, but enthusiastic, like the rushing wind. Maneuvering uncharted territory, your tempo will be uneven, discordant, sounds awfully a lot like jumping on stones. Returning to the beginning, the rhythm and mood was less blissful then before, as if something was missing from the picture. Nevertheless, it gradually slipped into the rit. mood as it approaches the end of the piece. What was supposed be a soft ending resonated weakly, a feeble ending instead of the full, soft richness it was written for. Their song is over.

今 天 不 回 家！

Would you take a philandering husband/wife back? Nine out of ten people would not. I happen to know the one person who would, could and did. Nevermind the fact that her husband fathered a son with another woman, this lady’s sheer determination was awe-inspiring. On the brink of despair, hurt, betrayal, anger, Aunt Amy brings a whole new meaning to the term forgive and forget. Perhaps it was for the children. Or perhaps, true love has had it’s hand there.. Truth be told, I resolutely belong in the nine people category, period. Hope all’s well.

Talladega Nights!

Had a lovely night yesterday, its been ages since I had such fun. Free screening of Talladega Nights at Cineleisure(courtesy of Hanz, thank you so very much!), mingled with great people, plus a lil mamak, what more could you ask? =) Tony was bit shy but I soon found out he has this infectious laughter, friendly chap that one. Hanz was cool (LC) as always, I noticed he stuck his hands in his jeans pocket whenever hes nervous? (Hah! I’m so observant.) Tagging along were Hanz’s lyn friends, they really do come in many personalities, shapes and uh, sizes of course. =p There was one girl who looked like Marion Caunter’s wannabe, but shes tad bit snobbish for my liking, not as affable and charming like Marion. Moreover, her guy had me weirded out, bit rude. Ah the perfect couple I guess. The rest were friendly I guess, (one guy had piercings all over his mouth! I couldn’t stop staring. Erm, bit rude of me right? But he did get those piercings so people could ogle at him right?) =D

Anyways, I’ll be moving real soon, hopefully still around PJ area, it is my fav area afterall. Wish I didn’t have to..

Of cultured milk, yoghurts & ice cream

My temp job at the KJ hypermarket ended last Sunday, and left me a little more than an otherwise meager bank balance. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the last four weeks were devoted to handing out samples, pushing sales, memorizing opening and closing stock and of course, getting to know new acquaintances.

What was I selling, I heard some of you query? After the briefing I was so damned sure I was going to be selling cultured milk food, but four weeks later I wasn’t so sure anymore. First, there were customers who, apparently aspired to be on the national debate team, insisted that Calci-yum was a yogurt and not the cultured milk food it was proclaimed on the box. OKAY, have it your way, I’m sick of winning debates anyway. Then, there were many who were misled to believe that it was ice-cream that they were sampling. Not that I blame them, it’s texture does look like yogurt or if you prefer, runny ice cream. =D

Now heres the funny part, and I don’t mean funny as in ‘hahaha’ funny, but funny as in ‘how weird’ funny, okay? For the FOUR weeks I was scooping out samples, there is a grand total of FOUR people who actually had the nerve to call me..*drum-roll please*.. AUNTY. Wtf? I know I’m approaching 20, what I didn’t know is that my laugh lines(fine lines) and mascara smudge(dark circles) would lead to this baseless name-calling. Or maybe was it the way I dressed? Over-sized navy blue T-shirt and black pants constituted an aunty image? Imagine this:

Scene 1:

Pudgy little kid came prancing about in front of sampling counter, acting cute. I could actually see his grubby little hands itching to grab the one (maybe two) of those tiny sample cups. Okay, maybe I imagined the grubby fingers part but you have to admit, it goes well with the story. =D Anyway, with his big, puppy eyes pleading, he asked: "AUNTY, BOLEH RASA TAK?" Only sheer professionalism prevented me from answering "TAK BOLEH". I even managed to smile. I was so brave. *Claps myself on the back* I thought the coast was clear but as if to add salt to the wound, plump boy returned. He lingered around the giant Calci-yum cup before sauntering to the counter to inquire: "AUNTY, INI CAM MANER MAIN PUNYA?", gesturing to the giant cup. Again, it must be said, I was so brave.

Scene 2:

I met the cutest toddler, owner of the biggest and brightest eyes I’ve ever seen. Damn, he was so cute that I couldn’t resist handing him a cup with extra helping. =D See, being cute does have it’s advantages. Anyway, my smile must have looked real cute too, because he smiled right back at me from his mother’s arms. =D Mom asked toddler: "Why’re you smiling so happily? You smiling because aunty pretty is it?" *.* """ I cannot even describe to you how ‘zha dou’ I felt. *Crouches in corner of the room, sobbing dejectedly*

Anyhow, I met lots of great people with great personalities to boot with, and the Prudential lady was really, really keen to recruit me as an agent. Needless to say. not my cup of tea, least I could do was ‘entertain’ her. =p

And the boat sails forth..

"You missed the boat, Yee Yee, that’s it", he quietly muttered. A pang of regret grasped my heart, like many times before but this time, realization dawned on me. I thought I’d never lived to say this, never thought I’d live to regret this but I did. Foolishness often drove people to commit silly mistakes. I was a fool, WC, you saw it a long time ago, didn’t you? You won. Does it give you satisfaction? Are you gloating with glee now? No, I don’t think so. Because if you are, you wouldn’t be worth the regret. Why is it that we always, always learn to appreciate only after they are gone? Why? How many times would it be until we truly learn the magnitude of our loss? Nevertheless, these ponderings are merely products of my pensive mood, you know, the one where you have this looooooooong train of thoughts. Have I been taken to thinking too much?

The heart rules

You know, it takes alot to bend me, break me and make me cry. However solid, firm or strong, I remain a girl. And because I am one, I am slave to my own emotions. I always wanted to feel what love is like. I don’t think I ever truly loved. I don’t think I ever deserved to be loved anyway. On your way to grab me by the shoulders and jolt me awake? Theres no need, thank you. I am fully aware of what am I uttering here, might not be in my most sane condition, but I am aware. Not many people could tolerate me, I couldn’t even comprehend myself at times. My head feels so heavy, so heavy..

Danielle

I really don’t think that…

…I’m the best there is out there, I may possess certain qualities that others don’t and I may lack certain attributes that others have. That made us all unique in our own right, right? Okay, my intelligence quotient may not be sky-rocketing high, same goes for my emotional quotient. Moreover, I don’t have nice pair of racks, I may not be one of those girls whose legs are endless, I might not have smooth, creamy and translucent complexion, my crowning glory might be a little limp, and sure, my tummy might have some unsightly bulges that I long for on my purse. Dude, talk about self-degradation! No matter how desirable you are, how kawaii you are, there will always be someone sexier, prettier, brainier, bustier etc. You get the picture. Heh. Like Kim always say, ‘one mountain is higher than the other’. Ah well, can’t have everything, can we? I’m still, and will always be a girl, and whats a girl gotta ask but reassurance? So I’m feeling insecure? People usually don’t admit they’re insecure, it makes them vulnerable you see. Here I am, pouring my sob stories where people can read, point and snicker all they want. Now that’s insecure AND dumb. However, I revel in the fact that I’m extraordinarily unique as well as distinctly individualistic, and that there will be no carbon-copy of me elsewhere in this beautiful azure planet. Love me or loathe me, for I am truly me. *cheers!*

Yours truly,

Danielle

Lets go to the pool!

Ya know, every single time before I blog, I would never fail to remind myself: DO NOT EVER FREAKING WASH DIRTY LINEN IN PUBLIC. Hence, most of the stuff here will not be a true reflection of whats going on in my life. Selective portrayal of my life conjures up image that I want people to believe in. Wait, who am I kidding? Lol.

Anyway, I picked up a new hobby - swimming! And you know what? S.May is the best-est buddy AND swimming coach ever! *hugs!* Alright, the way I now swim might roughly resemble a cow in water but heyyy, practice makes perfect right? ^^ Was tough initially, but I was determined to have fun and I did! Yesterday, I caught one maggi-head-ah-beng-who-thinks-hes-totally-hot-and-pro-but-actually-just-BELOW-so-so-only snickering at me. OKAY, I may not know how to swim like a dolphin, but at least I dun look like an ah beng of some sort. (and think and act like one too, for that matter) Trashing about in water isn’t swimming, you say? Yeah, like one of you said, I was RENDAM-ING in the water. ^^"

Today’s sweltering heat made me dream of cooling azure blue pools and so guess where was I headed? =p And thank goodness I know how to float! (About time eh) Alright, I don’t know what’re those people staring at (my bod or my float?) today. Its pretty hard to ascertain since both are attention grabbing. HEHE. =p We looking for swimming partners! We’ll have a pool party! Yay!!! C’mere, you! =) Sign up at this blog, okay? Love ya! :winks: